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What I learned in France/Italy

Hi everyone. Sorry I've been gone so long. I had very important places to go and people to see. 

Those place were Paris and Aix-en-Provence, France and Camogli, Italy. While I was there I learned some very important things, and I'd like to share them with you.

1. Europeans don't use conditioner. I found this out while in the shower rinsing out a good shampoo lather. So, I did as the Euros did and went au natural. My hair did not like it. It was like I was 6 years old all over again with my mother trying to comb the tangles out of my hair. Apres Shampoo, Parisians! Si vous plait!

2. There's fashion, and then there's Paris. I like to consider myself a fashion forward lady. I keep up on what's happening in NY, SF, London. I challenge myself to toss on more than a shirt and a pair of pants each day. I spice up an outfit with a pair of orange heels, or an electric blue scarf. In Paris, I might as well have worn a sweat suit. For two and a half days I tried my hardest to come close to fitting in, and I always felt like the nerdy girl with a snotty nose, stringy hair (thanks to the no conditioner), wearing a tattered, hand-me-down skirt and (unfashionable) slouchy socks. All the Parisian women had donned their fall wardrobes, and I was still wearing skirts and sandals. It was a humid, balmy 75 degrees! Strike One. Dark colors, no matter what. Me, royal blue coat, yellow heels. Basically, clown. Strike Two. Scarves, scarves, scarves. I thought I would have this covered. Nope. Not even close. My scarves didn't count because of the aforementioned two strikes. Out.

3. Crocs are alive and well, at least in France and Italy. The hideous rubber sandal is popular in the French countryside and small fishing villages in Italy. However, they are used to house slipper and actual gardening shoes. I saw them all over the place. Surprising, actually. Crocs may want to think about uprooting from Boulder and heading to the French countryside.

4. Large people (i.e. over 6 foot) do not fit in France or Italy. This mainly applied to Gentleman Husband. Being 6'5, he was too tall for many doorways, cars, parking garages, and stuck out sorely in most crowded cafes. The good thing was, I could always find him.

5. A hike in Italy listed as 2:45 total time will take a German family that long, but will take two athletic Americans, 4 hours. GH and I stayed in a picturesque fishing village in Italy called Camogli (soft 'g'). It was, almost literally, clinging to a hillside on the coast of the aquamarine Mediterranean Sea. You could hike from our village to to other villages. We had nothing better to do than hike along the Med, so we embarked on this journey. From Camogli to the first town, San Rocco, the trail was completely stairs. We huffed and puffed our way up hundreds of stairs. From there, we continued on a lovely path through two small cliffside towns. That was the easy part. For the remaining 3 hours of the hike, we ascended straight up, across rock faces of a mountains with nothing stopping us from plunging into the Med but a chain rope, and then back down. Over and over. It was worth it. At the end of the hike was San Fruttouosso. A small monastery only accessible by footpath or ferry. Did we tour the monastery? No. I did, however, have some amazing trofetti and pesto and swim in the Med.

6. Everything sounds better when spoken in a foreign language. I learned French approximately 4 minutes before we got to France, and Italian on the drive from France to Italy. Needless to say, I wasn't prepared.I quickly learned that to pronounce French all one must do is swallow the end of a word and not pronounce the hard sounds. Montmarte, for example, is not MonT marT. It's monmar. Bangolet is not BanGoleT. It's Ban(swallow G sound) o lay. See, you too can speak French. We, as Americans, will never sound as suave as the French. One of the men that owned the house we stayed in while in Aix would always be looking for something while scurring around his kitchen, and would say: "Ou est? Ou est? Ah. Viola"  Which translated just means - Where is it? Where is it? Ah, here it is. But, how boring does that sound in plain old English?

THere you have it. Very important lessons learned while in Europe that can apply to my life in general. I'm every so thankful for hair conditioner, high ceilings and Rosetta Stone CDs.

October 23, 2009 in Travel | Permalink | Comments (1)

Sometimes amazing happens.

Gentleman Husband and I went to visit two of our favorite couples this weekend, the manOrrs and the Beaverhausens. They live in Kansas City, MO -very near the birthplace of CrazyVirgo. For whatever reason, we have never visited without something memorable (or illegal or embarrassing) happening. In the past I have tried to jump into the arms of my 6"5' husband, like a Romanian gymnast, totally missing him and landing with my head smacked against asphalt. No one was hurt. On one particular visit, we created the Greatest Music Video of All Time. Period. Once I mentally scarred one half of Beaverhausen so much that he bolted out of manOrr like lightening and high-stepped it the 10 blocks home.


But, nothing, and I do mean nothing, will top our most recent visit. Inspired by an almost intolerable love for GoodFellas, the Mayor of manOrr required that all 6 people involved with the first night of our visit channel Jersey 1976 for our dinner at an Italian joint in Kansas City, KC (side note: KCK is Jersey to Kansas City, Missouri's NYC, so it made sense.) Gentleman Lover and I waited at the Kansas City airport, dressed in our costumes as were instructed to, and then a 1987 maroon Ford wagon with wood panels showed up to chauffeur us around for the evening. It was, in a word, the tits. 

Then, this happened:
IMG_0114

In all honesty friends, we didn't even pose this. We didn't even know this was going to happen. We got lost on this dead-end street, realized there was an incredible view of Kansas City, MO, got out of the car to take a picture, fell into character, and took the best picture of our lives.

Take a minute. Soak it in. But don't look too long. You might be blinded. 
Soon, people everywhere will see this picture, because it will probably be put in the Kansas City Kansas Museum of History, and want to re-enact this exact same night. But they won't be able to. It's was a once in a lifetime event. Immortalized on June 12, 2009.
Sometimes amazing happens. And it feels good.

June 17, 2009 in Travel | Permalink | Comments (2)

CrazyVirgo and the Art of Commuting

Ever since I can remember I've been a commuter. There are a myriad of reasons: no car, no money to fix a car, no need for a car, self-appointed environmental savior. I've lived in cities that have highly functioning public transportation (love you San Francisco) and cities that don't (I'm talking to you, Denver/Boulder). I love public transportation. I hate pubic transportation. It makes be a better person. It makes me a grumpy, vile person. In any case, allowing a Virgo to use public transportation makes for a tale of erratic proportions.


I went to a Catholic grade school that was 6 blocks away from me, so I walked. No matter what the weather. I wanted to be dropped off in the U-shaped driveway in front of my brick, ivy covered school like all my friends, but my mother insisted my younger sister and I were walking. Through snow, rain, and desperately hot Missouri summers, we walked in our plaid jumpers, which inevitably ended up at school either soaked, frozen or sweated through. 
In high school I didn't get a car. No biggie. I was dying to take the bus. All the cool kids did. However, just when I thought commuting was about to pay off in popularity, my parents moved out of my childhood home, conveniently located on a bus route, and moved to the country to their "dream house." I had to bum a ride off a friend who made me late everyday. Tardiness lead to detention. Detention lead to missed ride home. Missed ride home lead to calling my Granny to come pick me up. Total popularity killer.

I lived in an awesome college town - Lawrence, KC. I had a killer orange Trek mountain bike that got me everywhere I wanted to go. I was a bike commuter before bike commuting was even trendy. Class. Concerts.  Bars. Burrito King. Booty calls. I never really wanted to go home, so I didn't need a car to travel the 60 miles. Less money on gas meant more money for Quarter Draws. In hindsight, I biked a lot. How I gained 10 lbs, I'll never know.

I moved to Denver, CO, after college. I had a clunker of a car, nicknamed "The Duster". It spent most of it's time parked in front of my apartment due to breakdown and/or parking tickets. It seized up in the middle of a street one incredibly snowy day in December 2000 and the decision to be a full-time commuter was made for me. I took the Colfax bus into downtown where I transfered to the free 16th Street [pedestrian] Mall Shuttle, and then walked 3 blocks to work, thinking all the way how awesomely urban I was. Career lady using the bus. 

Then, I moved to the glorious urban metropolis of San Francisco. Home of the greatest public transportation on the West Coast! Busses, light rails and trains that put everywhere else I had lived to shame. Every day was a happy day thanks to the MUNI and BART. I lived in Russian Hill all 4 years of my short tenure in SF, and was a rider of many of the most famous bus lines.
The 30 started in the Marina - the whitest neighborhood in San Francisco, full of J.Crew clad, BMW driving, WASPs. It traveled through North Beach, here it usually picked up wide-eyed tourists and someone saturated in urine. Then through Chinatown where it dodged delivery trucks showcasing their pink pig carcasses. Picked up mini-Asian-octogenarians with their pink grocery bags carrying live fish, that had no problem pushing and shoving their way through the max capacity bus to get a seat. Then through the Stockton Tunnel where everyone breathed in fumes of Oakland commuters. Then, finally dumped off in Union Square. The 30X also started in the Marina, but in order the spare the white-bred, burgeousie Marina crowd from mingling with commoners, it took an express route directly into the Financial District. The 30X was notoriously the "hook-up" bus, where men/women, men/men, and women/women cast longing, flirtatious glances at each other, developed secret crushes and exchanged numbers and email addresses only to have an unfortunate hook-up experience forcing one of them to switch bus routes. The very colorful 1 started in Pacific Heights - without fail one of the wealthiest neighborhoods in SF, then picked me up on Polk Street in Russian Hill - the workingman/woman's neighborhood full of 20 & 30-somethings just living the dream. Then it went over the top of Nob Hill, the second oldest and wealthiest neighborhood in the city, where it picked up old money, clad in Chanel and usually grouchy. Then down through Chinatown, this time avoiding the pig trucks, but picking up the Dim Sum gatherers, then into the Financial District. At first, my mouth hung down to my knees when I rode the bus. But, then I got used to it, and learned how to fight the pink bags for good bus position.

From San Francisco, I moved to Seattle, where one would think there was public transportation options galore. I don't know, maybe it's just me, but from afar, Seattle seems like a progressive, green city. It's not. God love Seattle, they're still voting (read: fighting) to take the irrelevant Monorail and make it useful for a city built to hold a couple hundred thousand people than now holds over a mill. There are busses powered by electricity, and clean fuel busses. But, not so direct routes and somewhat ishy timetables. In a city plagued by rain for 9 months a year, might be nice to have a reliable mode of public transportation. Gentleman Husband and I were determined to live with only one car. So, he being a human unable to handle to stress of public transportation (credit, he took busses in SF, where they actually worked) drove to work and I bussed it from Queen Anne to Downtown Seattle. Many times arriving either sprayed by bus backwash or frazzled and sweaty from walking because the bus just never showed up. When we moved to Ravenna (the cityburbs, as we liked to call it), commuting to my job in Capital Hill became an issue. I would have to take two busses to get to work - incidentally at an office hellbent on starting the work day at 8 a.m. Bus - 45 minutes. Car - 10 minutes. Though buying a car seemed like the logical solution to this problem, I decided to Stand for Something and prove Seattle public transportation worked. It didn't go so well. I fought the bus daily, and riders who didn't understand bus protocol, and the rain. But, I did it. I did it because I thought one CrazyVirgo on the bus was one less car.

In the middle of Seattle, I did some time in Chicago. For all it's Oprah fans and sports fans, it's a city that knows public transportation. I love that El. It got me to work in 15 minutes flat, no delays, no late trains. I could set my watch by the arrival and departure of the Blue Line. No matter where I needed to go in the city, I found a El stop within 3 blocks and utilized a train system that only took a pre-school education level to understand. Sweet.

Now, I live in Boulder, CO. Boulder is small enough that I can walk or ride a cruiser bike wherever I need to go, and Boulderites would rather I did that than pollute their crystal clean air with my car. Fine. That doesn't solve the problem that I live approximately 25 miles from my office. Again, Gentleman Husband and I stuck with one car. He, a mere 7 miles from his office, yet with unpredictable office hours. Me, a 50 mile roundtrip with pretty standard office hours. What are a couple of misplaced urbanites to do? Yep, get a used 1992 Audi 100. Obviously. For some reason, Gentleman Husband has a long-standing love affair with Audis. It's his second older Audi. I liked it. It was fashionably vintage. It got me to and from Denver in the winter. In the summer, I joined the ranks of hipsters with a 10-speed Centurion bike  pimped out with hot pink bar tape, and did a bike-bus-bike commute. It was a drag, at first, getting up early to leave the house at 7:30 a.m., ride 4 miles, take the bus, ride 10 blocks, and start the work day sweaty. But, I love Mother Earth and the extra savings in my bank account, so I did it. Sacrificed hundreds of incredibly stylish summer outfits that weren't bike-to-work friendly, and hugged Mama Earth every day.
Then, the Audi left me stranded in late winter. So, I got a VW Rabbit, and fell head over heels in love.
Zippy, white stick shift, comfortable, match my personality in love with this car.

Now, it's almost Summer again, and I'm torn. My Centurion is waiting in the garage for me to dust it off and get back on. But, I loathe the sweaty commute to and fro. This summer, I've purchased commuter clothes, combating the arrival home in my work clothes completely sweat through. But, that doesn't help that fact that I'm a stylish lady. I live for heels and haircuts and Sephora. All things that don't exactly work with a bike commute. It's just not so fun to haul my morning regime to work with meon my back every day. On the other hand, I get exercise without fail, twice a day, and save gas, and there's one less car on the road. What's a stylish, environment-loving, wanna-be commuter to do?

Not sure. In any case, I've gotta go catch the bus.

May 06, 2009 in Travel | Permalink | Comments (1)

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