Crazy Virgo

GOOP - See??? I actually do work.

Goop friends - I know a lot about a lot. Being beautiful and famous just gives me great perspective on life in general. And once in a while, I like to allow you to ask me things so that I can share with you, common person. Because I know you don't have the clairvoyance that I do to answer all life's hard questions like what's the best moisturizer to use, where to stay in the French Riviera, and where to go in LA when you want to just pig out on michelen-star Italian food. I imagine these things must have been plaguing at your soul, and poor you, no one to ask. Well, shhhhhhh Gwenyth, you're once a week e-newsletter celebrity pal is here. After carefully reading the answers to these questions I get asked all the time, you'll feel better. 

Although, I can't believe so many people ask if it's really me writing all the newsletters every week and recommending restaurants and what to read, or wear. Uh,  yes, people it's me. I really labor over those 2-3 lines that introduce the subject matter of each weeks newsletter. It takes time to think of what celebrity to consult. Then it takes time to yell at my assistant to find email addresses. And, then I have to go meet them for cocktails. That's a reallly long day, and I do it all myself. Which is exactly why I need a month off this pretend job to go relax in the Hamptons.

Loves, g

 

P.S. Yes, I'm hitting the Hampton's (Where I live next door to Aerin Lauder of Estee Lauder, and Martha Stewart) with Jay-z, Beyo, Jessica & Jerry Seinfeld (we jews.....,), so, sorry you can't come or afford to even drive through my neighborhood. buuuut, that's where i'll be for the next month. Byyyyyye

This week's actual GOOP.

 

GOOP - GO to San Francisco where there are beautiful supermodels

Hi Goop dahlings - It's really hard being super rich and beautiful. So, sometimes I have to find other rich beautiful women to hang out with for normalcy. If you're beautiful, rich and looking to spend some time in San Francisco (though, if you possess those qualities, I probably already know you), I've compiled a list of places to eat/shop so that you will be with other beautiful, rich people who like to stare at food and pretend their eating it, and shop at stores that only carry a size 2. Recently, I felt the urge to seek out my gorgeous friends because I took a minute to survey who I was hanging out with in London - and let's face it, those Brits aren't exactly stunning - and realized that even though my dear friend, Stella, is an amazing designer, she's kind of Hagsville. She's never been asked to be in an ad campaign for a major cosmetics line, and isn't that how one truly defines beauty? She's more likely to be in one of those vulgar, ugly-celebrity ads that Louis Vuitton is doing... Hello, Annie Lebovitz?! Not attractive. So, I called up my dear friends, the Turlington sisters, and asked where all the beautiful ladies like us were hanging out, and wouldn't you know it, there was a beautiful people's convention in San Francisco, their hometown. Lucky me! So, I conveniently forgot I had children and a husband and rounded up my team and bought out first-class  on Virgin airlines (never mind what I said a few weeks ago about carbon footprints) and flew to SF and had the most incredible time basking in my own beautiful-ness. Truly, nothing makes you feel better than spending time with supermodels and knowing that you're absolutely beautiful enough to be seen with them because normal people are going to stop and stare at you both equally. It just fills the soul. 

Stay pretty Goopers (let's face it, you're never going to be beautiful like me, or you'd be writing this email.),

G

This weeks real GOOP.

Goop - see what's inside a cookbook!!!

Goopinas - Hi It's Gwenyth, self-confessed food-a-holic foodie. If you know anything about me, you know I love talking about cooking and eating. It's one of my most favorite hobbies. In the summer especially, I just love talking about recipes and how divine they must taste. I feel talking about cooking is a way to relate to the "normal" people who probably eat. I curl up in my Frette 1000-thread count sheets, pretend I'm sublimely happy and pour over many cook books dreaming of eating. Mixed berry tarts, coucous with grilled vegetables and fresh herbs, seared fish with lemon/mint aioli. Talk dirty to me!! Sometimes I make Chris (my husband, the rockstar who has disappeared off the face of the earth) whisper ingredient lists into my ear, when we're, you know...  I've even gone so far as to switch my regular girls book club (where we've been reading Deepak's latest bible) to focus more on cook books. Stella, Tracey, and my new BFF Kate Hudson (we're both Jewish ish and have blond hair, so I thought we should be friends) all stare at pictures, drink water with lemon and talk about what it might be like to eat all the delicious food we order our kitchen staff to make for us. It's such a great way to spend a summer afternoon. Anyway, enough about me. Do you love how I talk about canning food (why do they call it that, when it's in jars? So confusing). HA! I've included cookbook reviews from all my favesies British chefs. They're they only civil chefs around, with the exception of Brooklyn-based cooks, b/c my agent told me Brooklyn is so hot, still. I guess I'd better go there. I didn't include anything from Mario, even though we did Spain together, becuase he's fat. 

Well that about sums it up. I'm about to go read Apple and Moses a cookbook for kids. They really need to get into the habit of visualizing eating instead of really doing it. So much healthier and way more organic.

Byeeeeee.

This week's Goop.