Heroin: An addictive drug that (I've heard, I've never done any intravenous drugs) is heaven to experience, and awful to quit. The drug of all drugs. The tip top of being tripped out.
Heroine: a woman of distinguished courage or ability, admired for her brave deeds. See: Joan of Arc, Queen Elizabeth, Eleanor Roosevelt, Eleanor of Acquataine, Hillary Clinton
I've been called both recently. And frankly, both are quite flattering. It makes a lady feel sexy to be so irrisitable that I'm someone's drug of choice - that I make someone feel as high as an addictive substance. It's an honor to be someone's heroine, woman of distinction, role model. But, if I ackowledge that I'm heroin and let it flatter me then I'm not being a heroine, am I? These two words, pronounced the same, but one letter and miles apart in meaning, have led me to a place of pause. Because as a single woman with a young lady in tow, I can't be both. Can I?
When the term heroin was tossed my was, as in "you're my heroin," my feathers ruffled, my fur bristled, and "Oh. No. CrazyVirgo is NO ONE'S drug" was on the tip of my tongue, while my finger was ready to wag and snap. But, because of the yoga classes I've been doing, I took a moment to breathe and be in the moment. Why was this a bad thing? If I'm all about feeling good about myself, having self-confidence, then why do I care what I am to anyone else? What I am to you is your deal. What I am to myself is what matters. And all that delicious yoga shit.
But, I did what I always do, I think of LittleVirgo. Do I want to tell her one day that "mama was once called heroin by a man that she was kind of involved with, and that's ok, because....", knowing all the while that I'm also her heroine (or at least I strive to be). Then my mind flexed, and talked to my soul, and checked in with my heart, and we all decided, ya. F*ck it. Be yourself. Be proud. Be strong. IF that's heroin to someone, then I must be putting off a pretty strong vibe. And, by being myself, being strong and being proud, then I'm a heroine, to LittleVirgo, to myself, and hopefully to womankind.
So, load me up in your syringe. Shoot me in your veins. Collapse and feel like you're floating. Enjoy it. I'll be watching from the battlefield where I stand proudly with my sword drawn, defending my honor.
go on with your bad self.
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