Hi Goop dahlings - It's really hard being super rich and beautiful. So, sometimes I have to find other rich beautiful women to hang out with for normalcy. If you're beautiful, rich and looking to spend some time in San Francisco (though, if you possess those qualities, I probably already know you), I've compiled a list of places to eat/shop so that you will be with other beautiful, rich people who like to stare at food and pretend their eating it, and shop at stores that only carry a size 2. Recently, I felt the urge to seek out my gorgeous friends because I took a minute to survey who I was hanging out with in London - and let's face it, those Brits aren't exactly stunning - and realized that even though my dear friend, Stella, is an amazing designer, she's kind of Hagsville. She's never been asked to be in an ad campaign for a major cosmetics line, and isn't that how one truly defines beauty? She's more likely to be in one of those vulgar, ugly-celebrity ads that Louis Vuitton is doing... Hello, Annie Lebovitz?! Not attractive. So, I called up my dear friends, the Turlington sisters, and asked where all the beautiful ladies like us were hanging out, and wouldn't you know it, there was a beautiful people's convention in San Francisco, their hometown. Lucky me! So, I conveniently forgot I had children and a husband and rounded up my team and bought out first-class on Virgin airlines (never mind what I said a few weeks ago about carbon footprints) and flew to SF and had the most incredible time basking in my own beautiful-ness. Truly, nothing makes you feel better than spending time with supermodels and knowing that you're absolutely beautiful enough to be seen with them because normal people are going to stop and stare at you both equally. It just fills the soul.
Stay pretty Goopers (let's face it, you're never going to be beautiful like me, or you'd be writing this email.),
G
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