Crazy Virgo

Open Letter to John Cusak

Dear John Cusak,

What the fuck?

I used to think you were one of the great actors of my generation. Used to. The mysteriousness of you and the equally mysteriousness of the characters you play made you so attractive to me and to film lovers (not to be confused with movie lovers) everywhere. Lloyd Dobler. Rob Gordon. Martin Blank. These are rich, deep characters that I definitely wanted to sleep with. Oh, sorry, that's how I judge a good character. Add to these intriguingly peculiar roles, your brooding, handsome, good looks and you've got yourself a pretty solid film career. Did you notice that I called it a "film" career, John? I don't think anyone, including you, intended you to have a movie career. Appreciate the difference.

Let's move on.

What's with this "2012" bullshit?! I want to cry. I was willing to overlook the string of bad movies you've been making - America's Sweethearts, Must Love Dogs, The Ice Harvest - because you'd throw in a good one - Identity. I even thought "Serendipity" would be good because you + Kate Beckinsdale would, in theory, equal a great movie. But alas, it was 120 minutes of sugary, expected dialogue exchanged in the most cliched parts Manhattan and San Francisco. I swear you even looked at the camera and mouthed an apology at one point. Sad. Yes, I saw the movie. 

And now, an end of the world, special effects masterbation fest? This is below even you. Do you wake up in the morning and feel good about what you've become? You were in a fucking movie called "Must Love Dogs". You could not have read that script and thought "hmm, this sounds like a real soul-searching, deep, riveting film. I'll do it." Please tell me you at least thought "If doing this movie means I'll get some naked time with Diane Lane, I'm in." And now, a cab-driving wanna-be scientist that will, we assume, save the world from total destruction? Tell me, do you really think the world is going to end in 2012? DID YOU EVEN WATCH THE MOVIE? Look how upset you've made me.

Remember when you and Piven and your crazy sister used to make movies together? You used to demand that they be given parts in whatever movie you were in. Because you were on the top of your game. Let's just forget all this foolishness and go back to Chicago and make films.

John, I've gone over in my head what might have made you resort to doing these crowd-pleasing, big studio pictures instead of the indie flicks I love you for, and I've come up with the following reasons:

1. Abduction by the Church of Scientology

2. Befriended Samuel L Jackson, had a night in Vegas with him, and now owe the bad muthafucker lots of money.

3. Accidentally keep pouring coke on your morning cereal instead of sugar and have been high for the last 10 years

Please let me know if one of these reasons are true, and I will forgive everything. Until then, you owe me, and film lovers (not to be confused with movie lovers) everywhere, an apology.

In the meantime, I'll print up a new batch of "Save John Cusack" t-shirts. And you should think about revisiting this guy.

Yours truly,

crazyVirgo

The obsession of Virgo

When A Virgo obsesses, it's not just a casual thought and desire for something. It's an all out 24 hour addiction that ends only by physically coveting said obsession. Needless to say add a little bit of crazy to a Virgo's obsession and it's almost a committable offense.

Maybe it's the transition from summer to fall, barometric pressure or horomones, but I've been obsessing something awful lately. Here's fair warning about what I'm obsessing lately:

The Big Pink - I can NOT listen to them enough. Between listening at my desk, in my car driving between Denver and Boulder, and all minutes in between, I've nearly memorized every word of their new album. Involuntarily. I should just have a constant feed in my ear. You know those ear pieces secret service have? Well, if I could get one of those that has The Big Pink on repeat, I'd be content.

Twilight - ok, I'm not obsessing like a 12 year-old girl screaming over Robert Pattinson and Kristen Stewart. Nor am I pouring over the 700 page book in my closet with a flashlight. But, I did watch that movie twice in 24-hours recently, and since then, have been counting down the days until "New Moon." See previous post. Also, I might have Googled it a couple of times. And maybe watched a trailer on YouTube.

Cypher 13 - these guys are ... hmmm...what's the word.... Covetable. I covet them, their coolness, their style, their talent, their charisma. Man, I want to be friends with these guys. Alas, I'm nowhere near cool enough. I'm an average 32 year old writer. I haven't got shit to contribute to them, unless they're interested in hearing my opinions on fashion, music, tapas, male egos and why vegetarianism is sill. I often see these dudes at Whole Foods or random bars in Boulder, but like a celebrity I've put on a pedestal, I can't find the guts to say hello.

there you have it. i'm an obsessor. it's an unhealthy habit, but hey, i could be a smoker. i'm not. i'm an obsessor.

help!