The Jewelry Wars

Over the holiday season, if you watched even 5 minutes of television, like me you were probably bombarded  by jewelry commercials. 
"He went to Jerod"
"Every Kiss Begins with Kay"
Jerod. Kay. Jerod. Kay.
It didn't matter what channel I watched, ESPN, Comedy Central, ABC, NBC, CBS, SpikeTV. Jewelry doesn't discriminate, apparently. It got to a point where I didn't know who I hated more, Jerod or Kay. Basically, I wished pain and death to them both. Then I wondered, are the Jerod people declaring war on the Kay people? Are they two different tribes? Are these horrible slogans their battle cries?
And then I thought, Actually I could give a flying fuck. I hope they massacre each other and then I can watch TV in peace.