Storms, the really historical, memorable ones, leave in their wake an aftermath of destruction and heartache. Apparently so do I when I get incredibly drunk. Back at work on Monday, my co-workers have informed me that the trail of destruction was sizable. Not only did I successfully talk the ear off several unsuspecting spouses of co-workers, I managed to call some them the wrong names over and over and over again. I yelled at a friend's roommate for wearing fur, then made up with her because it was vintage and I decided that was OK. I grabbed a friend's ass several times and told him how small it was...I think the words "baby butt" even came out of my mouth. I lost my handbag for a 1/2 hour and manically tore through the party trying to find it. I kissed a female co-worker straight on the mouth. I left the party only after promptly announcing to everyone what I was going to do with gentleman lover when I took him home. A sort-of birthday present if you will. Poor guy. He was defenseless and unprepared for the onset of hurricane Virgo. The storm subsided somewhere between 1:30 a.m. and passed out fully clothed.
Warning to all acquaintances, the Virgo storm doesn't happen frequently, but be advised: when said Virgo mixes multiple carafes of wine and french 77's, there's a storm brewing for sure. Get yourselves indoors and batten down the hatches and prepare for the worst.
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crazyvirgo by Sarah Sibley is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-No Derivative Works 3.0 United States License.
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work christmas parties rule! so says the guy who passed out on the internal office staircase and woke up at 3:30 in the morning long after the party was over.
Posted by: Dutch | December 05, 2005 at 12:48 PM
Agreed. Last year I apparently gave a slurred speech that I do not remember and asked my boss's wife whether she had had work done (i.e., plastic surgery) because she looked so good. Next Friday is this year's bash. Who knows what the vodka devil will make me do.
Posted by: Liz | December 05, 2005 at 04:27 PM
Excellent performance, Virgo!
Posted by: MetroDad | December 05, 2005 at 06:43 PM
see, now aren't you glad i wasn't there to remind you of it all? sounds like you had a great time. foo and i cheers'd you from the couch.
Posted by: bitemycookie | December 05, 2005 at 09:43 PM
Oh, how I wish I could've been there to wish our girl Half Listening/Icy Bergs well on her big 18th birthday. But it sounds like you made up for my absence, Virg. Thanks, man. Just like Dionne says, that's what friends are for. Selfless, you are.
Posted by: RBrown | December 06, 2005 at 12:03 AM
I am crying this is so damn funny...
Posted by: mabel | December 06, 2005 at 07:51 AM
Damn! I knew I missed some fun. Damn! So awesome to meet you. I miss you already.
Posted by: Heidi | December 06, 2005 at 04:01 PM
You have been officially added to my "top ten things I must do before I die" list!
"Must go out and drink with Virgo!"
Posted by: gina | December 07, 2005 at 03:08 PM